Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
