Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
