Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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