Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
