dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
