Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
