i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
