just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
