Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
