I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
