we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
