All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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