I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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