quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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