He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
