have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize
