Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
