I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
