i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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