You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
