i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
