I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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