I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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