hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
