My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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