I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
