there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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