whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
