My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Do vagina's smell?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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