eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Drake has all the answers
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
