Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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