i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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