...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
