please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
