once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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