Well douche your snatch and let's go!
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Randomize
