He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
