So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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