a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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