You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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