This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
