you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
