Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
