The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm just crazy horny about you
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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