His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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