How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
