I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
