talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
