is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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