My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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