I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
